Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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