Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
