she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
try to milk me bitch
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
