i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I need to stop coming to work sober
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
