No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
