I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
