So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
