I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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