It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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