The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
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Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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