dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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