Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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