Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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