I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
