Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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