At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
