hotel room ftw
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
