respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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