I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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