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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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