Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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