i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
