Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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  (847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar
  Replies (7) Good night (2190) Bad night (689)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals

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  (843): they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals http://tfl.nu/7ny2
  Replies (21) Good night (3937) Bad night (831)
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  (345): View more from Cayman Islands

  Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful

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  (345): Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful http://tfl.nu/njho
  Replies (8) Good night (3455) Bad night (1011)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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  (778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u
  Replies (18) Good night (4439) Bad night (2127)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2281) Bad night (541)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.

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  (870): Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up. http://tfl.nu/82ti
  Replies (9) Good night (430) Bad night (1342)
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  (310): View more from California

  It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal

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  (310): It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal http://tfl.nu/wa0q
  Replies (32) Good night (1222) Bad night (872)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

  (863): View more from Florida

  I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

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  (240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (1402)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.

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  (434): He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/bcau
  Replies (7) Good night (575) Bad night (722)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.

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  (970): You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday. http://tfl.nu/28cn
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (311)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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  (936): Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible. http://tfl.nu/yk56
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (322)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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  (519): I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me http://tfl.nu/9pcd
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (308)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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  (425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq
  Replies (14) Good night (952) Bad night (274)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (180)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.

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  (919): we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise. http://tfl.nu/z0vg
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (101)

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