Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

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  (708): i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection. http://tfl.nu/ljiq
  Replies (13) Good night (3786) Bad night (786)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

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  (815): someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd. http://tfl.nu/btmz
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (2191)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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  (732): I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking http://tfl.nu/678a
  Replies (14) Good night (782) Bad night (2215)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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  (832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right? http://tfl.nu/a8lp
  Replies (25) Good night (3805) Bad night (716)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.

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  (817): It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it. http://tfl.nu/48x8
  Replies (37) Good night (3672) Bad night (1262)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She brought up feelings... her days are numbered

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  (704): She brought up feelings... her days are numbered http://tfl.nu/9lng
  Replies (19) Good night (1804) Bad night (5348)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll google it

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  (908): You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time (1-908): I'll google it http://tfl.nu/bsan
  Replies (22) Good night (5149) Bad night (1787)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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  (630): I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job. http://tfl.nu/iztl
  Replies (7) Good night (4082) Bad night (965)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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  (972): I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed http://tfl.nu/xlf6
  Replies (8) Good night (3845) Bad night (1107)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.

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  (808): Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days. http://tfl.nu/a8z9
  Replies (9) Good night (2990) Bad night (1594)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (34) Good night (662) Bad night (4153)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.

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  (519): Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/0nuz
  Replies (2) Good night (1493) Bad night (1163)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sounds about right

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  (215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3
  Replies (0) Good night (1332) Bad night (445)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...

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  (719): A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating... http://tfl.nu/lvgu
  Replies (6) Good night (401) Bad night (716)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.

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  (520): dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first. http://tfl.nu/2u4z
  Replies (32) Good night (421) Bad night (1319)

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