Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk