If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
