Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
