As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
