Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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