What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
