Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
