I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
