she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
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Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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