haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
