Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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