Whats the glycemic index on semen?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
