I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
