I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
