all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
