You don't have asthma, your pregnant
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
