Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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