Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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