In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
