I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
