Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
