Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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