YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
