ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
