Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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