omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
