also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
