Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
