I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
