Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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  (212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to." http://tfl.nu/pyn2
  Replies (16) Good night (590) Bad night (1393)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

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  (480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together http://tfl.nu/9vec
  Replies (14) Good night (566) Bad night (2020)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

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  (678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended? (770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet." http://tfl.nu/9zzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2633) Bad night (865)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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  (518): i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on. http://tfl.nu/22pm
  Replies (5) Good night (3832) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?

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  (804): does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app? http://tfl.nu/1l1k
  Replies (41) Good night (809) Bad night (3386)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.

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  (909): She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle. http://tfl.nu/v9v9
  Replies (4) Good night (3898) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.

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  (816): TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true. http://tfl.nu/3n2b
  Replies (13) Good night (2429) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...

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  (308): is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night... http://tfl.nu/up0o
  Replies (6) Good night (764) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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  (727): Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome. http://tfl.nu/3ucr
  Replies (20) Good night (1925) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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  (402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl
  Replies (8) Good night (1817) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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  (331): DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME http://tfl.nu/8t0w
  Replies (7) Good night (2680) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.

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  (631): He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes. http://tfl.nu/wcz4
  Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1431) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours

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  (519): Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours http://tfl.nu/fxl2
  Replies (26) Good night (1514) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

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  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (264)

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