I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.