Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
