Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
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When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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