I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.