Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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