Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?