coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed