so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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