Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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