chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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