Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
