I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
