my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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