seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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