hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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