tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
