Dude my mom stole all your condoms
This is not my ceiling
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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