I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
