I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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