the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
