I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
